‘Tis the season of joy and of celebrating the most precious gift…Jesus. This is what makes Christmas such a beautiful season! Well, over the last few months, one theme has been swirling in my heart and mind: expectations. I’ve been asking myself:
Why do unmet expectations become such an emotional battle within my heart?
What expectations are good and right, and which ones are unhealthy?
Most importantly, what does Scripture teach about expectations?
Expectations are something every person carries. Some we are fully aware of, and others we discover only after they’ve been disappointed. At their simplest, expectations are a belief that something will happen in the future, or an assumption about how events should unfold. Especially during the Christmas season, expectations are everywhere.
Perhaps it’s how you imagine the family gathering will go…
What traditions you’ll share…
Who you’ll spend time with…
Or even what your mom will make for Christmas dinner.
Maybe the expectation is that this Christmas won’t be the same as someone is missing this year because of a loss.
These are all “normal” expectations—but are they right?
In the Bible, expectations are closely tied to God’s promises and God’s character. Expectation in scripture is not passive; it looks like faith in motion. When we expect something, we don’t sit still; we walk in a way that prepares for it.
Hebrews 11:1 says, “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.”
Proverbs 19:21 says, “Many plans are in a man’s heart, but the counsel of the LORD will stand.”
Proverbs 10:28 says, “The hope of the righteous is gladness, but the expectation of the wicked perishes.”
So what is right to expect?
Right Expectations
- We should expect God to be God. To be faithful… To keep His promises… To act according to His perfect wisdom and timing.
- We can expect that God hears us. Jeremiah 29:12 reminds us that when we call on Him, He listens.
- We can expect that God will never act outside His character. His goodness, justice, mercy, and sovereignty are unchanging.
wrong Expectations
- Expecting God to do what we want, how we want, when we want. God is faithful to His will, not our demands.
- Expecting people to meet our deepest needs. Only God can satisfy the longings of our hearts. Psalm 118:8 says, “It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in man.”
- Expecting others to behave exactly how we believe they should. It is not our place to control people’s choices, hearts, or growth.
- Expecting God to bless us while we walk in disobedience. He loves us in our sin, but that is often when He disciplines, not blesses.
- Expecting life to be free from trials and suffering. God never promised an easy life; He promised His presence through it. James 1:2–4 reminds us that trials produce endurance and maturity.
I’m still growing in this, but here’s what I know…my expectations must be rooted in God’s Word and God’s character, and wrong expectations need to be recognized, surrendered, and realigned. Unhealthy expectations, even the “normal” ones, can damage relationships and leave behind hurt. Instead of ignoring unmet expectations or reacting emotionally, I’m learning to:
- Stop and examine them: Are they right or wrong?
- Bring them before the Lord: Ask Him to teach, correct, and guide.
- Make things right: with anyone I’ve hurt, or who has hurt me and with Jesus.
Expectations aren’t bad, but they are powerful. And when they’re placed in the wrong things, or the wrong people, they can become heavy burdens. But when they’re rooted in God, they become sources of hope, peace, and steadfast faith.
So this Christmas, as I navigate the emotions, relationships, joys, and disappointments that come with the season, my prayer for us all is this:
That our hope would rest firmly in Jesus, that our expectations would be shaped by His truth, and that our hearts would be prepared to receive whatever He desires to give.
For Christ is the fulfillment of every promise and the greatest gift I could ever receive.
By: Rebekah Thudian
